10. Face your problems. Don't facebook your problems
9. Sometimes your neighbors love your music so much and they invite the cops to listen
8. Why do people use the phrase "work like a dog" ? I wish I worked like my dog...I would sleep 18 hours a day
7. First it's one little white lie. Then they get easier & easier to tell. Next thing you know, you're a lawyer.
6. (The experience of deciding to not use) Google+ is now open to everyone!
5. If you've lost every bet you've ever made, congratulations! You're now qualified to work on Wall Street
4. Todays weight loss tip : Use superglue as lip-gloss.
3. "I didn't know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book"
2. The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.
1. I've started keeping two lists: "To do" and "Too late.